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SPAM
MURPHY
Cheap Executive Officer and Chairman of
Paradox Software Corp., since he co-founded
the company in July 2002. Fondly refers to his
staff as 'Humanware' and treats them like
obsolete hardware. Venture capitalist whose
capital flow dried up along with his libido. Has received
several awards including Head Nerd
of the Year from the Silicon Alley School of Business. He
also squats on the board of Amigo Robotics Inc., and the
James Williamson Iguana Fund.
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LINUX COOPER
Paradox Software Corp's Top Bean Counter or
CFO who's dedicated to minimizing employee payroll while
optimizing his annual bonus.
Joined the company as a Financial Analyst
and gnawed his way up. A CPA (Compulsive Personnel Abuser),
he holds a master's degree
in medieval torture from the University of Castrashire,
Scotland. He has been under investigation by the Securities
and Exchange Commission since he was 12 and serves on
the board of Launder It Inc.
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AJIT
DATA
Flamboyant Marketing Director of Paradox Software Corp., also
known as "Mr.White" after the exclusive color of
his business wardrobe. Born, brought up and spoilt in Las
Vegas by mixed parents (Indian and African-American) who operated
a small-time pub. Popular with the ladies because he was featured
on Food TV once for his Masala Margaritas. Adopted the ten-gallon
hat as a teen, inspired by an incurable addiction for Westerns
and an overwhelming desire to live in the shadows. |
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RAM
PATEL
Father figure to all right-brained, dyslexic IT professionals
of dubious foreign origin at
Paradox Software Corp. Has more gray hair in
his beard than wires in his V18-powered turbo desktop with
power windows and anti-lock cursor control. Wooed, courted
and mastered technology when computers occupied entire rooms
and his curator wife still wore pigtails. Heads the Maintenance
division at the company and the poker gang in the subdivision
where he lives with his Dalmatian. |
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MONA
DOS
Quality Assurance Director who doubles as part-time director
of the water cooler gossip station
at Paradox Software Corp. Divorced single
mother of a six-year old who holds the world
record for Game Commander 2.0 and shuns everything that's
even vaguely Indian. Has a soft spot for Ajit Data that's
as big as the 2000 GB hard drive on her desktop. Moved to
the US from Kolkata, East India, in the course of her ill-fated
marriage to a tech-savvy, masochistic NRI (Non Resident Invertebrate). |
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CAD
MYERS
Corporate Security Services Director in charge
of real and virtual security at Paradox Software Corp. Former
Colonel of the US Army's Field Intelligence Unit with a diploma
in Hacker Interception & Electrocution from the Staff
Training Center in Texas, USA. Lost his left
pinkie on active duty as a combat officer during Operation
Desert Com in May 2001. Was responsible for the implementation
of the
security plan at the gold mines located on Midasnao Island
in the Philippines. |
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ICON
BILL MURPHY
Spam Murphy's son, Director - New Business and heir to the
top executive's chair at Paradox Corp. He dropped out of MIT
to pursue a PhD on the
hazards of using ancient Chinese symbols in the fast lane.
He's fluent in seven languages including Mandarin, Tagalog
and Prolog. Better known as IBM to his friends, he spends
his leisure hosting
' flash mob' activities and reducing the level of blood in
his alcohol stream. Hopes to turn Paradox into a Fortune 500
company during his lifetime.
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C.D.
ROMESH
Vice President - Tech Support at Paradox
Software Corp, and technically head of the
division. Technically, because nobody reports
to or works for him. Grew up in Chennai, South India, and
came to the US in the early sixties.
Got married because he was in love - with the
idea of getting a Green Card. Lost his wife,
when the Dot Com Company he founded with
his buddies went bust. Acute miser who occasionally wears
underwear made of old computer printouts. |
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BENNY
LAN
Senior Programmer who picked up his
cackle, chopsticks and Cobol at a tender age
in Wanchai, Hong Kong. Has a wry sense of
humor that's reflected in the occasional bug he leaves behind.
Can survive for months on a
staple diet of Chinese takeaways, Japanese comics and American
soap. Hates holidays, vacations and other distractions. Received
a
free life membership from WA (Workaholics Anonymous) last
year. |
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LOGINDER
SINGH
Lanky Sikh originally from Ludhiana, North
India, currently lives in a claustrophobic glass cubicle at
Paradox Software Corp. Senior programmer who's completely
infatuated with RDBMS (Rotisserie Defrosted Baloney Management
Systems). Enjoys flaunting his collection of designer turbans,
as if to compensate for the lack of something under it. Is
a bachelor with a roving eye for flat-bellied specimen of
the opposite sex. Especially the starry-eyed IQ-below-room-temperature
kind. |
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ROBERT
COBOLOBO
Errands expert, stationery controller, waste manager, chief
courier and Human Resources Director, all rolled into a stocky
5.3 feet South American frame. Totally incompetent in all
the roles. Found himself in the US after a Texan student succumbed
to his raw charms in Cancun, Mexico, during her spring break.
Toiled at her uncle's oil field till he couldn't read his
palm. Then decided to change his fate line by muscling his
way into the corridors of corporate power. Managed to get
this far. |
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HEMA
JAVADAV
An ABCD or American Born Computer Devotee who worships technology
in all its avatars.
She's an unashamedly ambitious Programming Intern at Paradox
Software Corp. Her paycheck
is so negligible, it could be withdrawn illegally
from the company account without anybody noticing it for a
thousand years. She prefers a
fast 56K modem any day to a brilliant
5K-diamond pendant. Would give her right arm,
to have an Indian prince with a handlebar moustache on the
left. |
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PASCALA
WHITE
Nubile, impressionable secretary who captained
a cheerleading team at her high school in
Nashville, TN, USA. Speaks with a Southern
drawl that's almost as drawn out as her never ending legs.
Unofficial Power Point Director at Paradox Software Corp.
who is much sought
after minutes before meetings. Never forgets to send a self-addressed
bouquet of flowers to
herself on Secretary's Day. Her love life is a
roller coaster ride where the brakes wore out
ages ago and weren't replaced. |
